Like most men, who have wives or girlfriends in the Mary Kay business, I asked the question that is on a lot of our minds in the beginning, "How do I fit in here"? I remember pondering this question for the better part of two years, and until I found the answer, I felt like I wasn't being as supportive as I could be.
However, after meeting many men in my position over the last three years, I feel I can offer some suggestions in how, as a man, you can play a role in the success of the business:
1. Pray for the business: Like all other things, the business will not be successful if Christ is not behind it. So, take time to pray for things like your wife's direction, endurance, zeal, interaction with potential recruits and customers, and business projects. Like any business, there will times of joy as well as frustration. So, as the high priest of your home, it is your responsibility to keep everyone focused on the excellence of Christ and the Glory of God at all times.
2. Take on some household responsibility: Even in America, there is this stereotype that if a man cooks or cleans the house, he is "soft". Nothing can be further from the truth! In fact, you would be surprised how successful the business can become if you were to take on some of the household load. For instance, on a weekly basis I do the laundry, help maintain the cleanliness of the house, change the bed linen, and cook at least one meal a week. And by doing this, it frees Debra to--not only work her business--but also to get the needed rest to recharge. Never forget that your wife is human. And just like you need rest after a hard day of work, she does too. So, afford her that time by making sure that she is well balanced in all of her duties.
3. Challenge her, but encourage her to be thankful: In the Mary Kay business, there can be times of overwhelming discouragement and loss of confidence. It is here where you, as the man, need to encourage her to go the extra mile. One of things that I do, when these situations arise, is to remind Debra of the positives. If she was hoping to get 5 new recruits for the month, but only gets 2, I remind her that even though she didn't reach her intended goal, these 2 recruits were 2 more than last month. Thus, these 2 new recruits--when properly trained--will add additional sales, customers, and additional recruits from their efforts, which you didn't have the month before. In saying this, I not only encourage her to strive towards her goals, but to help her realize that her business is not stagnant just because she didn't achieve her plan. In short, she did progress. Now, some would criticize this thinking by saying it is "settling for second place". However, we must remember that Rome was not built in a day. It is the little victories that win the war. If your wife is determined, she can reach any goal in this business that she desires. But, it could take longer than you both want to do so. So, it is your job to make sure that she, not only strives for her goal, but to praise God for the steps it takes to reach it. No matter how small they may be.
4. Date her: Yes married men, you can still date your wife after you say, "I do". As in any business, you need time for rest and relaxation. So, make time each week for yourselves. Debra and I have a "Date Night" every Friday, in which we can put aside our daily employment routines, and focus on us. Now, you don't have to go to a movie or out to a restaurant to do this (although it wouldn't hurt to do this, especially if she is running her business full-time), but whatever you do, focus on each other. Remember, God has given us marriage to enjoy Him through each other. So, make this a priority.
5. Find Common Ground: If you can find a common link between what you do and the Mary Kay business, it will definitely enlarge your interest in it. For instance, with being a minister, I see commonalities such as helping people, encouraging others, being used by God to make marriages stronger, going the "extra mile", and empowerment. These are all things that I deal with on some level so, when I speak to Debra, I can--not only relate to what she says--I can offer helpful suggestions based on my experiences and vice-versa. Too often in the home, the husband and wife do not take the time to discover the similarities in what God has called them to do individually. But rest assured, when found, they will open up avenues of understanding that will strengthen your marriage in ways that will amaze you. So, take time to find these commonalities. Trust me, you will be BLESSED if you do so.
These are just some of my thoughts on how, as a man, you can be as helpful to your wife's success. If you have any other ones, I would love to hear them! Just post them on the comment board.
Thanks!!!!
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